Easier Parenting Your Middle School Teen

By Nitsan Gaibel and Caroline

 

SCENES FROM MIDDLESCHOOL

 

What’s the most effective way of parenting? Being “heavy and serious”? No, actually “light” is easier and more effective. Act out this quick script to see how light you can be. You can use this script with next time you meet your middle school teen.

 

You have to rehearse beforehand. Try this:

 

Imagine. You are now a star actor walking onto the set of the TV sitcom Married With Children. The live audience is sitting in the studio, eager to laugh at everything you say or do. Even if you mess up it will become a comic gag accompanied by a musical chord and an audience falling out of their chairs with laughter.

 

You can say anything – read the phonebook, recite an obituary—and everyone in the audience will laugh with you like you’re a genius. They love you.

 

In walks your kid. (the synthesizer plays 3 notes)

You: (with enthusiasm) Hey! Good to see you. (synthesizer plays a chord)

Kid: (deadpan) You must be kidding. (audience laughs)

You: No, actually I’ve been thinking about you. I want to talk to you.

Kid: Should I leave the room? (audience laughs)

You: Oh, stop being so negative! (one woman in the audience guffaws). How was your day?

Kid: I already answered that yesterday. (cymbals– pssssssss)

You: (you turn to the audience) I could get really mad right now…..(angry) I could shut that kid in a drawer without an ipod or cellphone for a week! I could feed that parasite nothing but bread and water and Brussels sprouts (trumpet trills) … but I won’t! (a few people laugh) You want to know why? (short trumpet toot)

Audience: WHY?

You: (inspired) Because I know that this is only one little moment and I can influence my child over time. I don’t need to be right every time! I don’t have to control my kids—I can influence them! (bass drum)

Audience: whooaaa!

You: (determined) I can walk away from a bad moment. (cymbals– psssss)

Audience: (cheers)

You: I know how to use soft power! (cymbals– psssss)

Audience: (wild cheers)

Kid: (deadpan) Are you gonna be long? ( audience laughs)

You: (smiling and triumphant, looking at the audience) I’m going to choose to ignore that. (cymbals– psssss) NO! I’ve got a better idea: I’m going to hear that as my child awkwardly expressing love to me.

Audience: (claps and cheers)

Kid: (impatient) Can I go now? (bass drum: boom!)

You: (warm and smiling to your kid) Sure. I love to see you.

Audience: awwwww

You: (as your kid leaves you smile and wave your hand) Catch ya later, kid.

Audience: (claps and cheers) JAZZ MUSIC AND FADE OUT TO COMMERCIAL

Imagine that was YOU.

 

But when your kid presses your buttons and you turn into the Terminator—how do you suddenly become “light”?

 

Next time you have a bad moment with your Middle School teen—STOP! Don’t get “heavy and serious.” Act out this scene you just rehearsed. Imagine the whole scene is taking place in the studio of a sitcom. You and your family are the stars. The live audience and jazz combo who love you are right there with you and will reinforce every word you say. You can’t go wrong.

 

(Just between the two of us—in the real world it won’t ever happen like the skit. So rehearse a lot and improvise.)

 

Here is the heavy serious truth:

- The real solutions to parenting problems are not done in a single interaction.

- Your real power to impact your children lies in your influence over time.

- Kids will want to listen to you more when the space around you is light and approachable.

 

So rehearse this skit. It’s light, and everyone wins, so have fun with it. Practice being light. That will make your parenting easier and more effective.

 

Do you want to see lightness in action? We found a parent who created lightness for herself so she could make parenting easier. Now we’d like to offer you free access to her video. Click here: http://www.easierparentingmiddleschool.com/ar/item1pn.html

 

We went through hundreds of websites and articles online to find the best parenting experts. We’ve collected 52 of the best parenting resources we found on the internet. We invite you to get them all for free at:

http://www.easierparentingmiddleschool.com.

 

Enjoy yourself! From Nitsan and Caroline Gaibel, founders of EasierParentingMiddleSchool.com.