Easier Parenting Your Middle School Teen

Do you find that you are trying harder and your Middle School teen listens less? Maybe you are agitating your kid so that he can’t hear you. Read how I learned how to calm myself down and make my parenting easier and more effective.

 

I was the problem

I found myself getting worked up over every little misdemeanor my kid did. It seemed that he was deliberately ignoring me. Why? I love my kids and I always try to be sympathetic and positive. But the results spoke loudly: something was not working. In fact, I was making things bad.

 

A friend of mine visited me for dinner and saw me get worked up over the way my Middle School teen slouched at the table and picked at his food.

 

“Calm down and see it from the kid’s point of view,” my friend suggested.

 

Kids can’t hear you when you vent at them

 

I was red in the face and angry. My friend smiled and grasped my shoulder. “First calm down. Breathe deeply and smile.” So I did and that worked.

 

“Now ask yourself…Put yourself in your kid’s shoes…Think back to when you were a teen in Middle School…Did you like your parents getting mad at you? Did you listen when people talked at you, demanded and questioned you in anger?”

 

“Nope,” I admitted. “I always felt revengeful and frightened when my parents got angry and shouted at me.”

 

“Could you understand what they were saying?”

 

“Most of the time I misunderstood them. But I felt too squashed to ask questions.” I laughed: “I have conversations echoing in my head from decades ago when my parents scolded me for something that I couldn’t understand. At the time I wondered: what on earth are they going on about? And I only figured out what they wanted years later.”

 

Parenting is easier when you are calm

 

My friend smiled and suggested: “Maybe you should stop yourself when you get angry. Breathe deeply and calm yourself. Don’t say anything until you are calm and remember that child in you who couldn’t listen to an angry parent. If you can’t stop yourself– walk away. Return when you’re calm.”

 

In that dinner my friend clarified for me exactly what is effective. I created an alarm in my mind which goes off every time I get angry. I know exactly what to do.

 

I admit that I don’t always control my anger as well as I’d like. But I absolutely know how to behave if I want my kids to listen.

 

And now you do, too.

 

If you’d like to see how you can send a message of love to your Middle School teen you can get free access to a wonderful resource I found on the internet: http://www.easierparentingmiddleschool.com/ar/item8tt.html.

 

We went through hundreds of websites and articles online to find the best parenting experts. We’ve collected 52 of the best parenting resources we found on the internet. We invite you to get them all for free at:

http://www.easierparentingmiddleschool.com.

 

Enjoy yourself! From Nitsan and Caroline Gaibel, founders of EasierParentingMiddleSchool.com.